Charlene Choi or Gillian Chung: Who Is the Superior Twin?

Charlene Choi and Gillian Chung have long been coveted as two of the most eligible bachelorettes on the Hong Kong scene because of their adorable personalities, gorgeous physiques, and sizeable bank accounts. Given that the two are not identical twins (they’re not actually even related), one invariably has to be more desirable than the other. Though many in Hong Kong would claim that, in light of Gillian Chung’s sex scandal, Charlene Choi would be the obvious choice. For me, that’s not necessarily the case; if anything, Chung’s kinky deviousness makes her even hotter! Though the scandal in and of itself does not disturb me, some information that has come to fore as a result of Ms. Chung’s humiliation, in addition to a number of other qualities, convinces me that Charlene is the superior twin. Why?

-First of all, Charlene is actually Canadian, which means a lifetime with Ms. Choi means a lifetime filled with Canadian humor. 51^st state jokes, “aboot,” Quebecois separatist wit, Canadian Thanksgiving quips, and moose would all be a part of your daily lexicon, which means you would have an eternal feeling of superiority. Gillian, on the other hand, is simply a Hong Konger, and the whole Canadian dimension would not be applicable, depriving you of endless humor that you would have if you were doinking Charlene.

-Another aspect in which Charlene is clearly the more exceptional candidate for lovin’ (at least from a Westerner’s perspective) is languages. Charlene speaks Mandarin, Cantonese, and most importantly, English fluently. Gillian, however, speaks only Cantonese fluently, and her Mandarin and English leave something to be desired. Personally, I’d rather insert searing coals into my eyes than have to communicate in Cantonese (also known as Chinese Ebonics) for the rest of eternity. Advantage: Choi!

-As indicated previously, I don’t hold her unfortunate sex scandal against Gillian Chung. But, it does kinda take some of the mystery away. Everybody in China knows exactly what’s going on under Gillian’s clothes. But with Charlene, this is all unchartered territory, which would make things a lot more interesting.

-Also, nobody’s a big fan of hypocrisy. Unfortunately for Gillian, the scandal demonstrated that she has no qualms with indulging in a little duplicity. During the period of time when she was regularly railed by Edison Chen (her male counterpart in the sex scandal), Gillian would frequently deliver speeches to youths about the evils of premarital sex. Charlene, on the other hand, has not been guilty of such egregious hypocrisy.

-Oh, yeah, and there aren’t pictures of Charlene SUCKING DICK all over the internet

 (fine, so it WOULD faze me.)