Fritalian?

-The dumbest commercial I’ve seen in a long time is the newest Dunkin’ Donuts coffee commercial. The first twenty seconds are prodigious, giftedly criticizing Starbucks’ absurd cup size system (you know venti just means 20 in Italian, as in the number of ounces in the cup. Yeah, that’s lame), posing the oft-pondered question (in ensemble song form of course!): Is it in French, is it in Italian, is it Fritalian? I agree with their perspective, and am personally of the opinion that Starbucks named most of their drinks in Italian solely to exploit the insecurities of the average Seattle yuppie that associate anything European with sophistication which in turn justifies the four dollar price tag for a cup of coffee. At this point in the commercial, I was ready to run out the door and purchase a cup of Dunkin’s finest cup of joe… Until the narrator’s voice boomed: “Try delicious lattes at Dunkin Donuts where you can order in English, not Fritalian.” You r-tards, latte is an ITALIAN word. And it doesn’t even mean coffee. It means milk! All they had to say was “order your coffee in English,” and it would’ve been fine, but instead, what would have been a brilliant parody is relegated to the ranks of stupid, hypocritical advertisements.

-Speaking of hilariously duplicitous adverts, this is my favorite of all time! This is pretty much the definition of selling out. And in honor of Louis Vuitton’s first ever television spot, here’s the link. Well played, Mickey G! They said the opening of the Soviet Union’s economy was a slippery slope. First Glasnost and Perestroika, now, Vuitton!