Robert Mugabe and Hillary ‘Hilldawg’ Clinton: Mere Pariahs, or Star-Crossed Lovers?

A cursory examination of the relationship between Zimbabwe’s long-serving president and America’s self-serving presidential candidate would reveal few similarities. However, more in-depth probing yields startling results and indicates that the two may, in fact, be destined for one another.

-Candid pictures invariably reveal that both are batshit insane

-Robert Mugabe has been ordained by the British Crown as a Knight Commander of the Order of the Bath (nice one, Helen Mirren) and that, coincidentally, is Hilldawg’s number three fetish behind creamy peanut butter and crunchy peanut butter.

-Both do a masterful job of blaming white male predecessors for their problems, when in reality, their current respective situations are hardly the fault of the previously empowered white WASPS (Robert, Ian Smith did not make you kick white plantation owners off of their land; and Hilldawg, George W. did not introduce you to fried double-stuffed oreos)

-Neither have had sex with Bill Clinton this millennium (though, in a recent visit to Zimbabwe through the Clinton foundation, Bill’s location was undisclosed for roughly 36 hours and Mugabe requested an inordinate amount of strawberries and champagne, indicating that the previous claim may be fallacious, however any liaisons between the two remain entirely conjectural).

-Robert Mugabe accused the previous president of Zimbabwe of sodomy (a crime in the country often referred to as the Great Roadblock Preventing Tossing It In The Two), and, really, it’s only a matter of time before Hilldawg resorts to such tawdry tactics to discredit her opponents…oh, wait, she already tried that!

-Democratically speaking, neither should be in power next year, but both probably will.

-Both have an aversion to the Lion King [Robert, because a man named Simba tried to usurp power from him (by "running against him" on a "different ticket;" how dare he!), and Hilldawg because her husband surely two-holed a 'dancer' named Nala]

-Both refer to Thabo Mbeki exclusively as “McDreamy”

-Both are planned to feature prominently in Time’s follow up of their “100″ issue: 100 people we’d be better off without along with Jose Mourinho, Colie from the Real World: Denver, and Yassir Arafat (too soon?).

-Both pull off the pants suit impeccably, allowing them to effectively disguise their droopy figures (I’m looking at you, Robert)

-Neither have any qualms deceiving the voters of their respective countries if it means attaining/maintaining power (oh, wow, you weren’t ready for a non-funny one, were you?!)

CLEARLY, these two are meant for one another. Hopefully, they will realize their mutual destiny before its too late (and, someone, makes them, you know, like, play by the rules and stuff, and do the whole ‘democracy’ thing). Here’s to the fast-approaching demise to these two loathsome figures (and me blatantly seizing my last opportunity to call Hilldawg fat before she bows out/goes broke).

The Billionaire Football Owners Club Update

Because I’m a weirdo, I like to pretend that various world leaders are actually good friends behind the scenes. Some of my favorite pairings are as follows: Vlad Putin and Angela Merkel (austere), George W. and Christina Kirchner (both rove steak), Megawati and Helen Clark (androgynous), and of course, Thaksin Shinawatra and Silvio Birlusconi. I am entirely convinced these two are total bffs. Five years ago, each was an embattled head of state and the wealthiest individual in their respective countries; both were entangled in legal battles directly stemming from inquisitions concerning the acquisition of said wealth (and both actively attempted to manipulate the law to their advantage); and, now, both are owners of prominent European football clubs. You can’t tell me that these two have never shot the shit over a bottle of sambucca and/or a few bowls of pad thai.

Well, my suspicions were further augmented this week when Silvio Birlusconi proclaimed that the asking price for Ronaldinho was too expensive for Sivlio’s club, AC Milan. I find this difficult to imagine as a club the stature of AC Milan has expansive cash reserves to the point where virtually no individual is too pricey. I have a theory: there are purportedly only three clubs in the running for the former World Player of the Year’s services, one of them being Shinawatra’s Manchester City, a much smaller club than AC Milan and Internazionale (the third club). Even though Ronnie’s been benched over the past few months in Catalonia, Man City would have only a minimal chance of signing a player of Ronaldinho’s class unless the other competitors dropped out of the running. Not to mention AC Milan already has the creative talents of Kaka and Pato, which would make the signing of Ronaldinho more or less redundant; but could it be that Silvio’s just doing a favor for a friend? I’d like to think so.

In other (related) news, the oligarchs of European football are in the process of welcoming a new member into their exclusive club: currency speculator George Soros, who is in takeover talks with AS Roma. On the surface, one would think that Thaksin Shinawatra would have major qualms with Soros’ ascension into their illustrious club (and might theoretically persuade Silvio into annulling the deal; as PM of Italia, this is at his discretion); after all, Soros was the man singlehandedly responsible for bringing down the Thai economy in 1997 with his gigantic hedges against the Thai Baht and all but forcing the Thai government to float their currency. Incorrect! Allegedly, Thaksin Shinawatra bet heavily against the Baht only a few days before the flotation thanks to some insider information, AND the depleted economy paved the way for his (ironically) populist party, Thai Rak Thai, to win handsomely in the following election. So, in the event of a Man City/Roma CL matchup in the next few years, one would expect an amicable, goulash-filled affair between the two club owners; but don’t expect Roma to play any exhibition matches in Thailand, where Soros is frequently disparaged as an economic terrorist. Franklin Foer desperately needs to release an updated version of “How Soccer Explains the World,” because, along with their boy Roman Abramovich, this is some pretty compelling shit.

Now, There’s NO Way China Could Screw Me Again. No Way, Whatsoever. Impossible. The Opposite of Feasible.

So, we’ve covered the anal-iation, one of my best friend’s TB incident, in addition to me being dumped for an arranged marriage, acquiring an unrelenting online stalker, and being forced into forsaking certain herbal remedies, really what more could China do to screw me?

This is what.

The day I’m to have my visa issued, these rules are implemented. Meaning: the likelihood that I will be granted a 5-day non-renewable Chinese visa are good to quite good. Awesome. Good thing I didn’t spend literally thousands of dollars to come back only to be told I’m not wanted. Granted, with a little research my friends in Beijing would have just cause to deny me entry. But superficially [upstanding citizen with a good command of the Mandarin language who has spent significant time in the country without serious trouble (I did say some things on-record concerning Taiwan that might have not gone over so well)], I should be an ideal candidate.

Am I mad at China? No. Instead, I’m blaming the Tibetans. If they hadn’t effed with the status quo, I’d be in China right now. I’d have purchased my year long multiple entry visa for a scant 75 bucks and would already be recovering from an all-nighter doing Jay Chou karaoke (I haven’t had a chance to belt out the lyrics to his new album, a travesty selon the Brog). But noooooo, I’ve had to spend close to 600 dollars total to grease the wheels to get a measly thirty day single entry visa that isn’t even guaranteed to be issued.

Why? Team Tibet had to throw a tantrum, which has incited a mega-crackdown by the Chinese government and completely screwed China’s expat community, who pride themselves in effectively circumventing the grasp of the communist government. According to the above-linked article, many of the million expats in the country will have to go home just to renew their visa. This is a major, not to mention costly ordeal, that could have significant, long-term economic repercussions. How? Engrish teachers. Most English tutors in Shanghai/Beijing are like yours truly; we’re technically undocumented workers. But China needs foreign English teachers (and there’s a lot more money in the semi-illegal sector than the legitimate one) to refine the often unintelligible speech patterns of the CCP’s future elite. If they kick out all of the quasi-legal Westerners (and the inherent resentment of deportation preventing an en masse return of said educators) could lead to an entire generation of Chinese people speaking English like retards.

Why, Tibet? As I’ve said before, you’ve won the fucking geopolitical lottery. Count your blessings, you could be Nepal. Within this century, your province (thanks to generous subsidies from the Chinese government) will easily be the wealthiest enclave in all of the Himalayas. You wouldn’t be the first entity that sacrificed its culture for moooore moooneaaaay. Come on, budday, give it up.

Though, on a more serious note, the events of the past month do not augur well for this Olympics. This newest initiative will do nothing but alienate the few Westerners who are indeed China apologists. China is attempting to at least manage, at worst deport the Chinese sympathizers for who? Olympic participants? At this rate, I wouldn’t be surprised if TMQ’s depiction of Li Lin’s Olympic Torch Relay (”As the Olympic torch arrived in San Francisco, Lin, a 1992 medalist for China, San Francisco resident and the first torchbearer for California, was for security reasons moved to an undisclosed location, where she ran an undisclosed distance in undisclosed shoes with no public witnesses present, perhaps having undisclosed thoughts. How festive!”) will mirror certain events during the actual Olympics. Will they change venues at the last minute to prevent incidents? Will they bar non-participants from entering the confines? Will they prevent non-relative (of participants) foreigners to even enter the country? Will they refuse foreigners access and fill the stadiums with only Chinese nationals to maintain the facade of a successful Olympics? As ludicrous as these questions seem, at the rate the Chinese government is reacting, one of the aforementioned scenarios is entirely feasible.

What China doesn’t seem to grasp is that the Internet will dispel any trickery they have up their sleeves. The days of intricate secrecy throughout an entire society are over; transparency reigns via the bloggers (did I just attempt to justify my hobby as legitimate? Yeah, I think I did, I apologize. Exclude me from the aforementioned statement), and for the sake of China’s ever-important face, it would behoove them to come to this realization before they are confronted with further embarrassment.

Yo, Bosnia, Where You At?

So, it occurred to me the other day, after hearing Hilldawg’s Bosnia tale teeming with hyperbole (as a result of ‘fatigue,’ people, not because she’s a conniving witch who completely forgot that her every move was televised for eight years…now that’s presidential material!) that we haven’t heard anything from our Southeastern European friends in forever. No, really, when was the last time you heard ANYTHING about Bosnia? After a few years with the Dayton Accords in place, there’s been astonishingly few developments reported out of Bosnia (and don’t forget Herzegovina!). I vaguely recall an election during my upperclassmen years, but that’s it. I find this quite intriguing when one considers this nation’s conflicts dominated global headlines in the mid-90’s in Iraq-esque fashion.

Well, in the world of international politics, the trite adage “no news is good news” is undoubtedly applicable, in particular concerning the Balkan entities. Let’s take Slovenia. Do you know where Slovenia is? Have you heard of Slovenia? Why is our knowledge so lacking on the subject of the aloof relative of the Balkans? Because after the split-up of Yugoslavia, Slovenia decided they were going to play a role-playing game called “hey, let’s pretend we were Austrian this whole time.” Since independence, Slovenia has avoided conflict almost entirely, developed easily the region’s most modern government (think: e-conference calls and largely paperless government around the turn of the millennium) and a sophisticated economy (ok that’s an exaggeration, but their tourism is tight because they offer both Adriatic beaches and Alpine skiing). By avoiding strife (granted it was a lot easier for them to do so) and creating a dynamic economy, Slovenia is a successful member of the European Union who have already been inducted into the Schengen free movement zone and are on the verge of being a European Monetary Union country. In other words, no news is good news was applicable to our friends in Slovenia, is it the case for Bosnia?

I decided to a little research to elucidate the situation in Europe’s most troubled nation last decade. It turns out my hypothesis was indeed correct. Granted, B&H (sounds like a consulting firm, they might’ve had more success in that department) is a long way from rivaling their former compatriots Slovenia; however, when one takes into account that Bosnia has to build from scratch after genocidal conflict ravaged any semblance of infrastructure, Bosnia’s not doing too badly and there exist a number of auspicious harbingers for this developing nation. First, the economy is growing at a healthy 5.5% which is no China, but is growing faster than the majority of Bosnia’s central European counterparts. Second, foreign direct investment grew by almost 250% between 2006 and 2007. FDI often serves as an accurate barometer for future growth. GDP Per capita is at a healthy $7,000 USD, which may not seem like a lot, but tell that to my homies in the Central African Republic (700 buckaroos). Though a sizable portion of Bosnia’s agrarian economy remains inefficient and government spending is a little overblown, growth on every measurable scale (Per Capita, GDP, GNH) is unequivocally superior to where it stood ten years ago.

Secondly, and more importantly, Bosnia’s ethnic tensions have quelled substantially, thanks largely to a large UN Peacekeeping Force over the past decade. Though animosity continues to fester under the surface, citizens of Bosnia have managed to avoid significant conflict, which, in turn, has allowed the UN to decrementally (I’m pretty sure that’s not a word) reduce the number of soldiers based in B & H from 60,000 to under 3,000.

So, congrats Bosnia, you’re officially on the road to recovery. And, hey, Iraq/Afghanistan, maybe you guys can take some solace in the fact that the United States hasn’t botched every nation-building attempt in the past few decades. Who knows, maybe there’s hope for Iraq-istan yet.

Robert Mugabe Can’t Even Win a Rigged Election

The people of Zimbabwe went to the polls on Saturday. Despite long-serving despot Robert Mugabe’s best efforts to triumph using any conceivable tactic, democratic or not, he was unable to overcome the opposition party, the Movement for a Democratic Change. Considering that Senor Mugabe purportedly used all of the following underhanded tactics, and still lost, indicates that everyone’s favorite sub-Saharan tyrant is losing his touch:

-Mugabe’s party, ZANU-PF, ordered 250,000 more ballots for postmen and soldiers than the number of postmen and soldiers in the country. Reportedly, they ordered 3.3 million more ballots than registered voters. Hmmmm..

-Voter education is not exactly a priority in Zimbabwe. Apparently, a number of voters went to polling stations outside of their ward and were unable to cast their vote as a result.

-A number of people were registered at addresses where buildings don’t exist. And presumably no cardboard boxes either.

-Dead and exiled white colonialists were on the voter logs (ironic given that Mugabe kicked whites out of the country) while some MDC supporters were left off. That’s a wee bit suspicious!

Because Mugabe kept the foreign media and election observers out of the country, the rest of the world is forced to rely on eyewitness reports and speculation. Mugabe told the opposition party that if they released their electoral results that such an action would constitute a ‘coup d’etat. In spite of all of this, Mugabe still couldn’t muster a victory. It looks like ole Robert’s age is starting to show. Yeah, he might not be the most adroit at agricultural planning (Zimbabwe used to be referred to as Africa’s breadbasket; now it’s Africa’s crapbasket and can’t come close to producing enough food for its citizens), economics (Zimbabwe’s inflation percentage is in six digits), or prophylactic distribution (Zimbabwe’s AIDS rate is like Al Sharpton: very, very high), but the man was an expert at manipulating the electoral process. Now, he can’t even rig an election effectively (I’m not entirely convinced he’s still got all his marbles). Mugabe, really, you’ve done enough; you’ve been the definition of debilitating tyrannical incompetence for a couple of decades now to the complete detriment of your constituents. You’ve done a masterful job of this, but doesn’t someone else deserve a chance to fuck up your country? With proposals far less idiotic than your horrific policy of reverse imperialism (an African Great Leap Forward, if you will)? Do you know what this “T” is? As Will Smith (in South Park) once said: “It’s a T. For Time to Leave.”

Chen Shui Bian: the End of an Era

Though the majority of the pseudo-nation Taiwan (Republic of China) is more than ready to see the end of Chen Shui Bian’s tenure as President, the Brog is sad to see him go. From the standpoint of a Westerner, Chen Shui Bian was always a catalyst for entertaining news in the Pacific Rim by his intentionally incessant irritation of the PRC and his borderline pathetic attempts to assert what’s left of Taiwanese independence.

Now, you think I’d hate the man who China Daily claims “fears pandas,” but, while I lived in Taiwan, I could count on Chen doing something at least once a week that’s only ostensible goal was to antagonize China, which amused me to no end. For instance, the biggest row between the ROC and the PRC while I was there occurred when Chen made a surprise visit to Fiji. Fiji recognizes Big China but Chen thought that with a little Boeing diplomacy (his jet has to have a “Boeing” livery and not ROC colors if it wants to land for fuel stops in the USA) and under the guise of a fuel stop and “just visiting the Taiwanese people of Fiji (and just how many Taiwanese are there living in Fiji?!)” that he might be able to have a couple of clandestine meetings with Fijian leaders in order to convince them to switch their recognition to Taiwan before his return to Formosa. Within hours, Beijing found out about this budding love triangle between Taipei and Suva and was infuriated sparking a war of words that would last at least a month. All over the recognition of FIJI!

Chen Shui Bian also liked to irk China through the use of “aggressive fuel stops.” Huh? As opposed to routing his aircraft from one country that supports Taiwan to another acolyte, Chen Shui Bian roved to route his plane through a United States city like San Francisco or New York, get off his plane for a handful of hours, rile up support for Taiwanese independence amongst Taiwanese-Americans, then promptly return to his plane and jet off to somewhere where he was officially welcomed. How do you think China felt about this? Well, they finally put a stop to this and forced the US to only allow him a transit stop in Anchorage (Chendawg was obviously not thrilled as there are about as many Taiwanese in Alaska as there are in Wyoming and so he opted to go through Libya instead, a nation that recognizes China, because there was no way China was going to have the upper hand over Chenny). When Chen finally gets to his destination of choice, say Tuvalu, Honduras, or Haiti, the poor guy had to pretend like he actually wanted to be there. The poor guy made five separate trips to Latin America during his presidency to places like Panama and Honduras, but not Mexico and Brazil (they wouldn’t have him). This would be like Bush going five times to Sri Lanka and Myanmar, but not going to Pakistan, India, Thailand, or China. Chen Shui Bian also holds the distinct honor of being the only head of state to ever visit the Marshall Islands. Slim pickins these days for the Taiwanese.

Perhaps the most lasting effect of the Chen administration vis a vis China is his creation of the Taiwanese-Tibet Exchange Foundation. This organization is an outright affront to the government in Beijing and is more or less a marketplace for the exchange of ideas concerning potential independence for the breakaway province and the semi-autonomous one. The TTEF and the Taiwanese affirmation that exiled Tibetans are not mainlanders has paved the way for a friendship between the Dalai Lama and Chen Shui Bian, proving the old adage the enemy of my enemy is my friend. This alliance, if it continues to exist through the next administration, could prove to have destabilizing ramifications (namely Taiwanese monetary and military support for Tibet) for the Beijing government.

Chen Shui Bian’s legendary status is not solely due to his acting like an eight year old towards China. Seemingly the man’s whole family was indicted on charges of corruption and forging documents, which almost cost him re-election, until he was SHOT the Saturday beforehand. The pervasive, overwhelming sympathy by the public for the attempt on his life allowed him to rally and overtake his opponent.

Now, we have to say goodbye to one of the more entertaining leaders in the world, as we begin an era of boooring “reconciliation” and “friendship” under the opposition party, the KMT’s Ma Ying Jiu. Rame.

Zimbabwean Elections: Expect More of the Same

Zimbabwe is scheduled to hold elections later this month that will see incumbent Robert Mugabe look to extend his reign of terror. Mugabe has presided over this southern African state since it changed its name from Rhodesia. His disastrous land re-distribution policy has left the country in a state of utter destitution, because agriculture, the former backbone of the economy, is virtually nonexistent. Economists are unable to accurately calculate inflation because of exponential increases but it is thought to be roughly 100,000% annually making the Zimbabwean currency worthless. Given the country’s chaotic state, one would assume that Mugabe would lose in a landslide. That assumption, unfortunately, is invalid, for a number of reasons. First, freedom of the press is nonexistent in Zimbabwe, and most media outlets merely serve as a propaganda vehicle for Mugabe. The lack of impartial journalist and a foreign media presence prevents the general populace from fully understanding the disastrous effect of Mugabe’s initiatives. Furthermore, Mugabe is a master at underhanded electioneering tactics. The last Zimbabwean election in 2002 took place under similar circumstances, except inflation was only a few hundred percent annually at the time. Like in 2008, the primary opposition candidate is a fellow named Morgan Tsvangirai of the Movement for Democratic Change party. In 2000, in order to suppress the MDC’s voting base, Mugabe arrested Tsvangirai and some of his acolytes for holding a simple political rally under the charge of treason. As well, Mugabe used the armed forces to intimidate voters and MDC members. Mugabe’s deviousness was not confined to bullying and imprisonment of candidates; on election day, Mugabe approved of hundreds of polling stations throughout rural Zimbabwe, where his support is the strongest, but only permitted a handful in the capital Harare, where dissent towards the current regime is more popular. Lines stretched for kilometers at the few polling stations available in Zimbabwe’s capital, which discouraged a number of voters and, because of time constraints, prevented many citizens from casting their ballot. Not surprisingly, Mugabe prevailed in this evidently rigged election. In light of this precedent, expecting Mugabe to run a free and fair election is absurd. What you can expect is the abuse of military prowess and electoral procedures on Mugabe’s part.  Even though Tsvangirai may be the more popular candidate, don’t expect him to assume office next year.

Nicaragua: The World’s Newest Little Bitch

Since the advent of nation states, hegemonies and regional powers have existed. How did they attain their status as a leading nation? By making other countries their bitches. Before the introduction of détente, this was done usually by asserting military supremacy, directly or indirectly; nowadays, it’s usually monetary considerations that drive the master/bitch relationship. A bitch is defined as a nation that recognizes the dominance of another country, invariably supports the prevailing power and will not stand up to this preeminent nation, but, at the same time, will assert some independence on issues that don’t pertain to relations with the dominant nation, nor will the “bitch” compromise its morals or culture in order to emulate the “master.” A good example would be Japan and America. Japan wholeheartedly supports United States’ initiatives, even when it’s unpopular to do so, because they know that the US singlehandedly built their economy into the second largest in the world. At the same time, Japan is a true regional power that dictates its own agenda in the West Pacific. This degree of detachment is imperative, otherwise a nation is no longer just a bitch; it’s a little bitch. In recent history, there have been a number of countries that have enthusiastically embraced the role of little bitch. Albania was China’s little bitch throughout the sixties and early seventies. In the early sixties, Cuba was the Soviet Union’s little bitch until Fidel Castro realized he was merely a pawn, and he, in turn, asserted his country’s own dominance. Southern Lebanon still is Iran’s little bitch. This week, Nicaragua unofficially declared itself Venezuela’s little bitch. Since the 1980’s and the Sandinista revolution, socialism has had a strong foundation in this Central American country, and under Daniel Ortega’s presidency, the government’s socialist policies have augmented substantially. Thus, it’s not surprising that he’s allied himself with Latin America’s resident socialist psychopath, Hugo Chavez. This week, when Chavez temporarily suspended diplomatic relations with Colombia after a border skirmish that infringed upon Ecuadorian sovereignty, Nicaragua promptly followed suit. A few days later, Venezuela restored its relations with Colombia at the Rio Group summit. And guess what? Nicaragua, once again, fell in line with Chavez. Why? Because Nicaragua is a little bitch.

China Pulls A Chuck Norris

Yesterday, international news outlets reported that the Chinese government foiled a terrorist plot on this summer’s upcoming Olympics in Beijing. The first line of the press release read: “Chinese police killed alleged terrorists plotting to attack the Beijing Olympics.” Say what you will about the United States, our interrogation tactics, and whether what transpires at our military installation in Guantanamo Bay breaches the Geneva conventions, but at least we don’t kill ALLEGED terrorists. China often responds to American denigration of China’s horrid human rights record by criticizing the United States for our detention facility in Guantanamo Bay as a violation of human rights. At least the United States gives our terror suspects a fair, if not expedient, trial. After this episode, China has no basis to defame the United States’ practices in rooting out terrorism (other countries obviously do), and any further denouncement on the Communist’s part should only be regarded as blatant hypocrisy.

Frankly, I find this suspected terrorist plot a bit surprising. The people implicated were separatists from China’s Xinjiang Province. Xinjiang, also known as Uighurstan and East Turkestan, is an autonomous region in China whose population is mostly Uighur and other Turkic peoples like the Kazakhs (which means Xinjiang natives look more like Borat than Jackie Chan). During Mao’s reign, the province’s culture and people were frequently marginalized during which Uighur resentment towards the central government fomented. During the mid-nineties, a separatist group became active, but swift, harsh government retaliation all but quashed any terrorist cells in the region. Though ethnic tensions remain, in recent years, the Chinese Communist Party has given the Xinjiang government significant autonomy and has embarked on a number of initiatives to increase Uighurstan’s economic capacity. This is why I was shocked to hear of a planned attack. I would have thought the Uighurs had realized they’ve won the geopolitical lottery. They are a part of a country that will be the unequivocal second largest economy in the world. Already ranking in the top five, China’s exponential growth has found its way to its western frontier, through the development of Urumqi as a business capital and a budding tourism industry. In a few decades, Xinjiang’s provincial economic GDP will dwarf its brethren neighbors like Tajikistan and Kyrgyzstan. Though extremely unlikely to happen (the CCP would under virtually no circumstances allow Xinjiang to break away), becoming an independent nation is an absurd notion that would only deprive Uighurstan of these flourishing economic opportunities, and would relegate the territory to the destitution to which the adjacent Muslim states are accustomed.

I’m So Super Seriously Pissed Off At Ohio Right Now

What two things do Ohio’s three largest cities have in common? They all start with ‘C’ and they all suck. Seriously, way to go Ohio. You have the onus of ‘bellwether state’ on your shoulders, and you choose the candidate that does not stand a chance in the November elections. For the second Presidential election in a row, the Democratic Party looks like they’re going to throw away what should be a “gimme” election. In 2004, when the Dems nominated Flipfloppy McChangehisminderstein, they chose seemingly the only person who couldn’t beat an increasingly unpopular George W. Bush. Now, in the wake of a disastrous Republican Presidency, it appears as if Democrats are leaning towards the more unelectable candidate once again, when an Obama nomination would provide the Donkeys with a distinct advantage en route to the White House. My theory is that the Democratic Party prefers to be out of power so that they can criticize Republican initiatives without having to assume the burden of responsibility for policies that they’ve implemented.